Scion of NLP

Archive for October, 2008

Or do we?

It’s an old movie quote I often remember my first Aikido Sensei (Izumi Sensei) saying …and it always makes me smile. The basic idea was the same belief as the old Samurai code – just do it …do something, anything that takes a step towards trying to make things better in times of adversity.

Today I just finally had a couple more EzineArticles published and once more I see a little note in the corner of my author’s page …put an EzineAuthor Badge on your website (to let people know and direct them to articles you’ve had published).

So now, I have 3 “badges” I need to put on my websites …my EzineAuthor Badge, my Twitter Badge and my Facebook Badge. And will this help me get more attention – more people checking out what I have to offer, signing up for my workshops & seminars and calling to book personal coaching appointments? I don’t know, but my business consultant says it’s a good idea …soooooo, there’s one more task on my long list of things to do…

…Badges? Now I gotta get some stink’n badges!

Okay…so I finally (after a wonderful weekend of teaching NLP – just had to put that in) broke to the pressure of my wonderful girlfriend and signed up for Twitter. So if anyone reeeeeeeaaaaally wants to follow me you can find me as ‘scion_of_nlp’ on Twitter. (*tweet-twoo!*)

Argh! I love getting up early and getting lots done ..especially in summer ….but in winter – not so much.

For me, getting up in winter is always a drag …literally – drag yourself out of bed. I did it again this morning and now all I can think is “enough is enough” – I’m going to do some NLP on myself and shift this, cause it ain’t work’n no mo’.

Alternatively I know that part of the reason I was so tired was due to the fact that I stayed up later than I wanted to fix a networking problem we had here – took forever (did I mention I hate Windows?) but I got it solved. (*yawn*) Now I want to get a few more things done today before the next section of NLP training tonight (did I mention I LOVE MY JOB!) – that’s one thing that does help with the early-morning-drag …just thinking about the awesome class I’m going to tonight perks me up! Boo-ya!

Those of us who seem perpetually Behind know what it’s like to prioritize on the fly. Often it seems that there is never enough time for everything and you’re constantly juggling to make things work …juggling all the tasks on your To Do list is simply a matter of juggling their priority based on the moment.

On the flip side is the theory and practice of Mindfullness. Putting all of one’s attention to a single task. Done well, mindfullness can actually help you get more done – except curb the anxiety and worry about getting the IMPORTANT things done.

The example is: it’s Tuesday and my car is not running so I have to get it fixed – however, I have appointments all week plus I need to make some last minute adjustments to a very important manuscript before Thursday. The question is not, ‘Will I get it all done?’ – rather, ‘How will I get it all done?’ This takes us back to prioritizing …specifically, what is the best order to do things to make sure they all get done efficiently and effectively?

And so, a person will stress and worry and jump from one task to another as they try to figure out what to do now (rather than, what to do next). Instead, what if we simply pick the task that is most important at this moment in time …AND decide both what exactly one steps is to accomplish on task plus what is the maximum amount of time we can give ourselves to work on achieving this step.

Now, we know what we’re going to do and how long we have to do it. If we finish that step before time is up – then prioritize at that moment and do it all over again. If we do not finish before the step is complete, then at that time we stop and prioritize for that moment and do it all over again.

With the right system in place we can stop thinking constantly about what and when and how …instead we can focus and be Mindful of what we’re working on (because we’ve committed to it being the most important, only for a set amount of time) while being confident in the concept that we have a system or way of working which allows us to do the very best we can.

I love teaching NLP!! Last night all the people in my practitioner class totally stepped up and were AMAZING! It was so awesome…wish you could have seen it. For all you NLP trainers out there – it was that moment where they put down the scripts and just let their language flow (and of course discovered that it works and they can do it)! Woo-hoo! Way to go everybody.

I can’t wait to see all the wonders that today’s class brings.

Well, today I start teaching the next module in the NLP practitioner certification program and I’m stoked about it! I love my job! NLP has become my true passion in life (after my son) and still, I have those tough days that can really drain someone.

This week I’ve really been kicked in the teeth with preparing the new prac course manual. I mean, I love figuring out all the NLP stuff and getting it put together – it was the big power outage Victoria had on Thanksgiving where I almost losing a the whole Strategies section that took me days to put together…then the part where I accidentally copies over the main part of the Language Patterns section – that hurt…staying up late, working around coaching appointments, trying to get all the proper exercises together…grrr…then, I was awake at 3:00am after only a few hours of sleep – got up at and finally got it all together the way I wanted it by lunch…and I’m tired. Now, the printer phoned to say there was a problem and on top of that the synesthesia video I’ve been trying to burn to DVD will not work, not matter what I’ve tried (and I’ve downloaded and tried 4 different software programs).

Through all of this however, there is one thing that holds my spirits high …I love what I do. I love NLP and I know that when I get there tonight, no matter how tired I am, I’ll perk up, get excited and be right there, fully present – a smile as big as the northern lights on my face!

(*sigh*) – for now, I gotta get a nap…

As a Behavior Modification Coach who specializes in helping people deal with Depression and Anxiety I was truly concerned after reading the CNN news article of October 13th, entitled As economy worsens, so do fears of violent reactions. It talked about an increase in murder/suicides and suicide attempts in response to the current economic crisis, and this has lead to a fear that these kinds of tragedies may continue to grow as economic problems become worse each day.

So in this time of financial worry and emotional turmoil it’s important for people to have some clear strategies for avoiding feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness.

• STEP 1 – RECOGNIZE YOUR SIGNS OF PROBLEM STRESS

  Most people would agree there always seems to be some level of stress in life, however, when times get tough(er) that sense of underlying stress can multiple exponentially. The first, and possibly most important thing you can do is Stop — and be aware of how you know things are becoming too much to handle. You may not need help at this point but sometimes things coming at us all at once can be too much for us to mentally deal with all at once – so take note of when you have too many problems to solve at one time.

  Some people feel physical signs in their body …shoulder tension, headaches, stomach illness, etc. Other people have trouble sleeping …their mind keeps running, running, running all night long and won’t shut off. Some of us have difficulty focusing on what people say …constantly needing co-workers or family members to repeat themselves. Still others just start seeing things in a different light …colors in the world become faded and washed out as they become over sensitive to light (often causing them to withdraw from life, literally closing ourselves away in a dark room or taking refuge under the bed covers). Take note of how your unconscious mind manages overwhelming stress and begin watching for it. If those feelings or behaviors start to be more in control of you than you are of them …it’s a definite sign you need to do something.

• STEP 2 – TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT (A LITTLE AT A TIME)

  When things are getting difficult to deal with but you’re still handling it pretty well …that’s good. So this is the time to start dealing with things early – take some time to make a list of people you can talk to …to share just a little bit of what you’re going through. You don’t have to dump all your problems on one person – rather, you can just share a little bit of your problems with each of them. Share a little with one person and then talk a bit more about something else with someone else. If every person we know and meet can help us share the burden of carrying just a small amount of your overwhelming fear and anxiety …well – grandma used to say, “Many hands make light work.” She was right about physical work, as well as the heavy burden of mental and emotional troubles too.

• STEP 3 -GIVE OTHERS THE CHANCE TO HELP

  You are a good person – and you know that because you’d be the first one there to help your close friends and family …heck, you’d help people you barely know whenever you’re able to. We know this because shows like, “Extreme Home Makeover” exist, and it shows how often and how powerful it can be when people are there for one another.

  Now, remember, “What goes around, comes around.” …and it’s time to let it come around to you so that you can send it around to the next person who needs it once you’re back on your feet. This is where you need to step out of your comfort zone and ask for assistance. No one can read your mind and most of them would benefit from being pulled out of their own constant worrying – so allow others to be good people too and ask for their help (even if it’s just doing little things like housework – each little stress you release can add up and make a difference). All your friends and family want to be there to help you, so they can go home feeling good about themselves knowing that when they need something in the future they can count on you.

• STEP 4 – FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO

  When you do get help from others be sure to use those times of renewed strength and energy to focus on what you are in control of …and choose to let go of what you can’t. Put your energy toward important things like eating, sleeping, working and taking care of yourself. Recognize those things stressing on you that requires the influence of someone else in order to change it, then put your energy into getting them to want to help you. An example is, you can’t make the bills go away, but you can talk to the people who are in charge of the bills and speak as one human being to another …ask what they can do while you work your way through this difficult time. Occasionally you’ll get an uncaring person, but usually (even if you phone back to the same place the next day) you’ll reach someone who’ll do what they can to assist you.

  At that point, stay focused on what you can do and maintain your intention to do it. Work together with the people in charge of things outside your power. Find a way together that will work for both of you – and follow through on it! Remember, this is where you’re relying on the proverb, “What goes around, comes around” and you don’t want anything negative coming back around later.

• STEP 5 – GET KNOWLEDGEABLE GUIDANCE

  There are commercials on tv and radio all the time telling us that there are people out there who can help us. The problem I always thought was, “If I could afford their help I wouldn’t need it.” However, they know you need help and if you really want it they can help you find a way to get it. Some professional coaches have “sliding scale fees” where you pay less based on what you’re able to. As well, there are students counselors who have just as useful information as the professional ones and they’re willing to take less just for the opportunity to practice helping someone – so why can’t that someone be you? In some cases, after you’ve shared your concerns about your life’s problems with friends and family, you may have found others dealing with the same kinds of issues as you – so if you all need the same guidance then see if you can go as a group and split the cost.

  The main thing to remember is that there are people out there who have useful information which can really help you stay in control mentally and stop your emotions from bullying you. In some cases their help can be just the thing you need to avert the possibility of hurting yourself or your family. To find out more about therapeutic life coaching you can check out the Soaring Success Services section at www.SoaringSuccess.ca.

There are always going to be “good times” and “bad times” (other wise you would never recognize one from the other). How you deal with the “bad times” will influence how soon and how good the “good times” come to be.

Hmmm ….I know this post will create more questions that answers, however I want to share a recent “ah-ha!” moment I had. A colleague of mine posed a question to me recently during a metaphysical discussion we were having about self development and personal values – and I’ll admit that it left me curiously confused.

I believe so …but I feel like I’ll have to think more about that to really understand. I mean, in NLP individual personal values are context dependent but, do values exist beyond context at the level of the Universal Mind?

My buddy and I concluded that they do and then we went on to talk about what those values might be or what they might manifest as in human awareness; For myself, I realize that the “Law of Attraction” is referred to as a “Universal Law” however it isn’t truly a “Law” in the proper sense of the word. In fact it is in direct conflict with Newton’s Law of Attraction which basically points out how opposites attract. All the hype and general explanations about modern Law of Attraction (LoA) and Intention Manifestation concepts are actually more in line with Plato’s first law of affinity (i.e. likes attract). So I have to wonder, “What if the LoA isn’t so much of a Universal Law but rather a Value of the Universe?”

My colleague, also believing the Universe has values, took it a step further and pointed out how the one consistent change since this all began with a big bang is the continued growth towards enlightenment! In explanation he offered up the fact that life was somehow originally created where only matter once existed and then that life evolved to a level of intelligence where it achieved self realization (the current state of humanity) …so where will it go from there? – rather, ask the question instead what is it that drives us to continue to expand our understanding and reach for further enlightenment?

At that point my mind went blank – and it was awesome! I love that way of seeing it! So now, as all these things we talked about try to fit together in my mind, I’m left slowly letting this new awareness integrate into my system …and I can’t wait to see what I make of it.

I got an email today from my internet provider, Shaw Cable. It mentioned that Halloween was coming in a few weeks and wanted people to remember that safety is one key element to a fun night for everyone. Usually I simply delete junk email without a second thought, but just as I moved the mouse over the delete button, my eyes were randomly scanning the computer screen and caught hold of a phrase which piqued my curiosity …’Shaw Pumpkin Patrol’.

Instantly I jumped to the conclusion that Shaw was going to send out their vans and get the people to notice neighborhood pumpkins, watching for one that would be recognized as best pumpkin …blah, blah, blah. The thought was, “Just another pumpkin carving contest I’m sure.”

Then I noticed the next few lines of text – and I smiled. I have an 8 year old son and when I clicked through to the Shaw Pumpkin Patrol website at ShawPumpkinPatrol.ca I was pleased to see how a local business was putting their staff out on the streets to help patrol for problems. The police can’t be everywhere at all times, but this Halloween they’ll have help thanks to Shaw Cable and their pumpkin patrol.

Thanks Shaw – you guys Rock!

Last night I taught a quick little workshop on the Art of Persuasion and there was only one thing on my mind as I went there last night …a woman.

A few weeks ago I did a short presentation on the Secrets of Changing Behavior and afterwards several people came up to speak with me about different things. One of them was a woman names Peggy, and since she was sitting just to my right she was the first to get a chance to talk with me. As I was speaking with her I soon realized that she had attended one of my Verbal Self Defense workshops and I hadn’t recognized her. During the course of her explanation she began to tell me how some of the Verbal Self Defense Tactics she learned had really impacted her life for the better. As I became engrossed in her story I suddenly noticed there were other people standing near by waiting to ask me for my business card …but …but …but I was really interested in the feedback Peggy was giving me, so…

…I gently interrupted this wonderfully sweet woman standing in front of me and quickly turned to hand out the business cards. When I turned back to give my full attention to Peggy she had already excused herself and whisked away, out the door and was gone.

That night I drove all the way home in a slump, thinking, “It’s nice to get positive feedback sometimes. Yes, my mentor and NLP trainer Judy Wright from Regina always taught me to ‘Pray for Failure’ because there is no failure, only feedback. And yes, feedback is what helps us improve, grow and get better every day …blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it’s just nice to get some positive feedback too.”

Skip forward to last night – as I stood setting up the room all I could think about was Peggy and I hoped and prayed she’d come to the workshop so I could finally find out how I helped someone. finally the time came for the presentation to begin and as I looked at the faces around the table I realized she wasn’t there. (*sigh*) “Oh well, best get started I thought.” With a smile and a flourish I started to introduce myself and the night’s topic of discussion, and then …viola! She came in and my spirit soared! I was so happy I even stopped the workshop to tell her I wanted to speak with her after the presentation.

Once we were finished and everyone had begun to pack up to go, I made my way around the room to Peggy. As we got into discussion I learned how the tools and techniques she learned in my Verbal Self Defense class had helped her take the next few steps on her path to a happier, healthier and more rewarding life. My heart almost burst in my chest as she told me about how she found the words to tell the people where she worked what she was feeling …how it gave her the confidence to go after and get the management job she really wanted …how she is able today to make sure she takes care of herself and how she’s teaching that to her children. We talked for over 30 minutes and all I could think was “This is why I love my job!”

When people find the ability inside themselves to make their lives joyous and wonderful I feel great knowing that I did all I could do – NLP has given me the ability to light a lantern inside myself so I could see what was happening within my own mind & body …and that light allowed me to discover things about myself that give me the power to have the best life I can imagine …and now, as an NLP counselor, coach and trainer, all I do is offer people the choice to take a little of the flame from my lantern of learnings to help them light their own inner lantern so the path of self discovery and life improvement is a little more clear.

Thank you Peggy for letting me know that what I’m doing does help people.