Scion of NLP

Archive for August 5th, 2009

When considering any case study (especially for comparison to one’s own life) there are often overlapping components that, although common in both cases, will have a certain level of uniqueness for each individual case … the immediate case we are reviewing is no different;

Commonly known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle,” we all learn to play certain roles in life … and usually, we each have one particular role which we favor over the others. In the regards to the Karpman Triangle the generally accepted roles people play are that of:

• VICTIM: the person who is treated as, or takes the role of, a being victimized;
• PERSECUTOR: the person who pressures, coerces, harass and/or blames the victim;
• RESCUER: the underdog who intervenes out of an ostensible wish to help the situation.

For the boy in our case study he learned, like many children, to play each different role of the triangle as he was required to … by mimicking his mother’s depressing behaviors he was able to learn the skills of “laying guilt trips,” “blaming and accusing,” “acting out of spite,” etc. — but, as many of us know, these are unhealthy behaviors that eventually lead to stressful relationships filled with hurt and anguish … and that was something the boy realized early on.

At this point let’s remember that this is a little boy who is still only a child … growing up and learning the process of living life under these difficult and troubled circumstances — now, in an earlier part of our story we made mention of the family’s belief that “a child who grows up in an abusive home will learn to adapt simply because they know no better” … and, although it’s untrue, it does hold some small measure of truth … this child learned to adapt his inappropriate communication skills and used them to address his own situation …

… the child thought (as children do) to try and explain everything in the simplest of explanations … and so, he created the belief that, “Life is to BLAME and for me to stop being VICTIMIZED by life I HAVE TO rescue everyone!” (which we might realize is a bit of a big task for such a young person, wouldn’t ya say?) — as you can imagine, it didn’t work because, as we already know, his perceptions were all filtered through anger and hurt … he would never be free of being hurt by “Life” because that was all his mind was looking for and allowing him to see and experience …

… and thus, he simply wished for nothing more than for it all to just stop …