August 5th, 2009 | 
Author: When considering any case study (especially for comparison to one’s own life) there are often overlapping components that, although common in both cases, will have a certain level of uniqueness for each individual case … the immediate case we are reviewing is no different;
Commonly known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle,” we all learn to play certain roles in life … and usually, we each have one particular role which we favor over the others. In the regards to the Karpman Triangle the generally accepted roles people play are that of:
- VICTIM: the person who is treated as, or takes the role of, a being victimized;
- PERSECUTOR: the person who pressures, coerces, harass and/or blames the victim;
- RESCUER: the underdog who intervenes out of an ostensible wish to help the situation.
For the boy in our case study he learned, like many children, to play each different role of the triangle as he was required to … by mimicking his mother’s depressing behaviors he was able to learn the skills of “laying guilt trips,” “blaming and accusing,” “acting out of spite,” etc. — but, as many of us know, these are unhealthy behaviors that eventually lead to stressful relationships filled with hurt and anguish … and that was something the boy realized early on.
At this point let’s remember that this is a little boy who is still only a child … growing up and learning the process of living life under these difficult and troubled circumstances — now, in an earlier part of our story we made mention of the family’s belief that “a child who grows up in an abusive home will learn to adapt simply because they know no better” … and, although it’s untrue, it does hold some small measure of truth … this child learned to adapt his inappropriate communication skills and used them to address his own situation …
… the child thought (as children do) to try and explain everything in the simplest of explanations … and so, he created the belief that, “Life is to BLAME and for me to stop being VICTIMIZED by life I HAVE TO rescue everyone!” (which we might realize is a bit of a big task for such a young person, wouldn’t ya say?) — as you can imagine, it didn’t work because, as we already know, his perceptions were all filtered through anger and hurt … he would never be free of being hurt by “Life” because that was all his mind was looking for and allowing him to see and experience …
… and thus, he simply wished for nothing more than for it all to just stop …
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And that’s exactly the problem when people use the Karpman Triangle to identify themselves … it’s usually an ALL or NOTHING decision … however it doesn’t need to be — optionally we can choose to enjoy helping/rescuing others … and then, when it becomes a situation where it’s done for the wrong intention or by doing it we will hurt ourselves, in those situations where it’s “unhealthy” we want to be able to have the flexibility to make and alternate choice.
In my opinion, the Karpman Drama Triangle is terrifyingly accurate. It is amazing how many people take on one or more of these roles in every life situation. And for a young boy to try to rescue everyone while he is still growing and learning, how is he to know what “being rescued” is to any one person in his life. That is the catch, every person is different in their struggles, so helping one person, one way with one problem may or may not work for helping another person with the same problem. Although it is great to help others, maybe don’t take it on as a role to identify yourself.