Scion of NLP

  Happy New Year Everyone!

It’s now the start of 2010 and many of us are thinking about the coming year … but, are you picturing it a Booming Success or a Big Bust?

Well, as all us NLPers know, ‘move towards’ and ‘move away from’ neuro-linguistic patterns that people use — such as picturing a positive outcome versus negative consequence; or talking about what you do want versus what you don’t want; or feeling the emotional sensations of success versus the emotional sensations of failure — can determine where the unconscious mind puts focus and energy/effort. This can be very obvious — like when someone says ‘I don’t want to lose’ versus ‘I want to win’ — or it can be subtly hidden in a person’s non-verbal cues — like when someone says in a whiny voice ‘I reeeeaaaally want it!’ versus saying in a happy, excited voice ‘Oooooh, I just gotta get me one of those!’

The component I want to talk about today is actually one degree of separation away from that piece of goal setting wisdom — something that influences the way you imagine 2010 … and that something can be summed up in the old saying: birds of a feather, flock together.

You see, when I was overcoming my old procrastination habits, one of the suggests I read was surrounding yourself with like-minded people … so, if you are always hanging around people who are motivated and energized, human nature to be in rapport means you’ll start to take on those people’s behavioral traits. Subsequently, if you are always filling your mind with the negative side of every idea and story … well then, you’ll probably attract more negative experiences into your life. (Remember the yellow vokswagon syndrome — once something enters your awareness, you’ll start to see it everywhere!)

Now, the internet is filled with tonnes of useful (and not so useful) information … some of which are just plain hilarious! As a person who works at staying in control of old habits of depressing, one of the morning rituals I have is to spend about 20-30 minutes just taking in RSS feeds of funny and silly websites like …

• Fail Blog,
• That Will Buff Out,
• Not Always Right,
• My First Fail,
• Probably Bad News,
• Ugliest Tattoos

… but so many of them are about things that represent a negative experience … I always make certain to also take in stuff from websites with positive silliness like …

• It Made My Day,
• Acting Like Animals,
• Lolcats,
• Loldogs,
• Photobomb,
• Pundit Kitchen,
• Autocomplete Me,
• There I Fixed It

… and I read a few webcomics once a day, such as …

• Bear Nuts,
• Weesh,
• Something Positive,
• Sequential Art

This way I’m always getting a daily experience of something that makes me smile and keep my attitude more positive!

Now, that doesn’t mean we need to avoid negativity completely … definitely not! In fact, as any good NLPer will tell you — people should actually use both ‘move towards’ and ‘move away from’ tactics for motivation in everything they do. The trick is to keep a ratio of 2 positive for every 1 negative — meaning:

To get/maintain motivation for doing something …

… recognize the unpleasant consequences (1 negative) if you don’t do it and then find 2 positive rewards that you’ll get from doing it (2 positive)

To keep a positive attitude about a bad experience …

… recognize how it’s bad (1 negative) and then focus on how it’s only a temporary set-back/experience (1st positive), as well as finding a positive learning you got from the experience which will help you make more useful choices in the future (2nd positive) … BTW, when I say positive learning, I actually mean a POSITIVE learning framed in a ‘move towards’ statement (for example, rather than saying ‘I learned never to never get his help again’ you can say ‘I learned that it’s better to ask someone other than him for help’.

So, remember … if you want a good year, surround yourself with good people … if you want a successful year, surround yourself with successful people … if you want to be more outgoing, surround yourself with outgoing people … if you want to exercise more, surround yourself with people who like to exercise a lot … (I’m sure you get the idea).

Best wishes from my to you for a happy and prosperous year to come!

Related posts:

1. Resolutions? … We don’t need no stink’n resolutions!
2. Metaphorically, Depression is a …
3. Doing it right in 2010…listen up!
4. Continuing News from the Battlefront
5. Be happy? … Sorry, I have other plans.

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