Okay — this is simply IMHO — I think NLP is sometimes a little TOO accepting of other people’s model of the world…
First of all, to make certain we’re all on the same level — in NLP we have a set of presuppositions which allow all us NLPers to be more effective communicators… and one of them is about being more open to the realization that every person has their own way of understanding the world based upon their life’s experiences.
It seems simple enough — everyone learns to value different things growing up… if mom and dad were affectionate but poor it’s possible the son/daughter will value relationships more than money… if mom and dad were never around because they worked so much the son/daughter may value money over relationships.
The problem here is that some people do things in this world that seem beyond comprehensible — for example…
(the following is from the Not Always Right website: original post is Craz-E)
Coffee Shop | Baton Rouge, LA, USA
Me: *on the drive-thru intercom* “Welcome to [coffee company]. What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “I need an ‘E’.”
(The customer immediately pulls away from the intercom.)
Me: “What the heck’s an ‘E’?”
Coworker: “Oh, that’s for [famous lawyer]. I don’t remember exactly what it is, but he always expects us to know it. He won’t explain it if you ask. Try a [incredibly complicated drink].”
(The customer refuses to make small talk, and we notice him dump his coffee out his car window as he drives away.)
Coworker: “We must not have got it right. He’ll try the location down the street next.”
or even things like this…
Now, I know as an NLPer I do have the freedom and flexibility to communicate with people like these (because I have) so that I could understand them better… however, that doesn’t change the fact that in the moment — as a normal human being — all I can think is: WTF?
What could possibly be going on in that person’s head and how could they be perceiving the world to think that those behaviors are appropriate? What the hell would have to happen in my life to get me to a point that I’d actually believe that was the most useful way to act?
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