Posts Tagged ‘nlp’

What the hell is wrong with people on twitter who promote themselves as NLP practitioners and trainers?

I mean, one of the base key elements of NLP is the knowledge that every person on the planet has their very own individualized mental map of how life works … we each have thoughts and memories that help us relate to new experiences! So, can someone please explain to me what all these so called ‘NLP Gurus’ on twitter are doing when they have everything completely automated??

Seriously, what the hell do you need to be thinking? — Sending out an automated response to a new followers to say thanks and ‘hey, connect with me on Facebook, too!‘ … or, setting up automated tweets that quote some famous person … yeah, that totally makes me feel connected wit’ ya there bud! … and the forever on-going tweets about ‘check this out!‘ and ‘I can’t believe I’m giving this away!‘ with short-links — are you a complete fukcing idiot?! … did your NLP trainer teach you nothing, you nim-rod?

If you want to get people to trust you and buy from you in this day and age then social media is an opportunity for NLPers to get inside other people’s way of thinking … to find out what they need & want … and to customize what you offer to make sure it will give your clients and customers exactly what they’re looking for! But, most of all, things like twitter and facebook are made to connect with people (not just sell to them!) … it’s about building trust … by being [and I know this may sound completely crazy!] genuinely interested those other people!

So, to all my fellow NLPers in the world … in fact, to everybody — try asking people questions or responding to theirs … who knows, you might actually engage the other person in a kind of interaction beyond online gaming!

I’ve tried to ‘get’ the concept of this social media thing for several weeks (perhaps even months) so I decided it was time to get help from a social media coach (Jodie Gastel of In Jodie’s Brain) and with her help I think I’m finally really beginning to get a bit of a knack for it … or, at least, understand what’s happening … and what I need to do. 

For anybody who’s wondering about social media, and what it entails, I’ll give you a general idea of what it looks like for someone in my position:

Twitter Stuff

Keeping up with twittering means having a finger on the pulse of what’s happening now and responding to people and sharing my opinions and input … times 3 for me — because I’ve got 3 Twitter accounts that need to be kept up at least twice daily:

• @Scion_of_NLP
• @Verbal_Sensei
• @Dr_Dan_Says

Facebook Stuff

Facebook (or LinkedIn or whatever social networking sites you belong to) is all about connecting with people who share your interests. In my case that means I need to be involved with stuff happening on my profile page as well as my fan pages and my group discussions:

• My Facebook Profile
• Soaring Success Fan Page
• Verbal Defense Tactics Fan Page
• My Anti-Bullying Group

Website Updates

In this case I’m working on 5 websites (currently only 4 are ready and working) which need at least a new post/article per week … and yes, I am aware that of late I haven’t been keeping up on my social media responsibilities in this area — I’ve been working on getting my sites backend PHP coding cleaned up so that updates and website upkeep would be more manageable.

• Scion of NLP (my personal blog — this site)
• Soaring Success (the NLP side of business website)
• Verbal Self Defense Tactics (the Verbal Self Defense side of business website)
• Dr. Dan Says (my professional behaviorist site)
• The ‘Un-named’ Site (a website about defense against inappropriate uses of NLP)

Yep… a year ago I’d have said it was a tall order, however, today it’s becoming more and more within my level of skills and abilities. In no time I shall become a true Social Media Jedi (*add in sound effect of swinging light-saber here!*). 

If you have a small business of your own, and you have any hope of building it into a self-sustaining business these days, I strongly recommend finding yourself a social media coach like Jodie — she actually sat beside me and walked me through how to pick and choose what I respond to … what should (and should NOT) be said … all the lingo … everything!

Thank you Jodie! — you soooooo ROCK!

My girlfriend has a a little box of cards that teach Latin and I occasionally take a card and read it just to see what old Latin sayings used to be like. Today I was reading one and had a small revelation!

The greatest disconnection is the one between your conscious mind and unconscious mind.

My mentor, Judy Wright, originally taught us in our NLP prac course that, although NLP is a tool for interpersonal communication, the greatest gift NLP gives a person who learns it is the ability to more clearly and effectively pass knowledge, wisdom and experience between one’s own conscious and unconscious mind with minimal filtering.

For most people in the field of NLP it might seem obvious but for anyone considering taking training in it, remember that it’s both a gift and a curse … because once you become fully self aware it can’t be undone (and sometimes ignorance is bliss — especially when it comes to one’s own short comings).

So there ya go — buyer beware … or, in this case, learner beware! 

As many of you know, NLP was designed as a tool for modeling personal excellence … one key component of which is learning to incorporate the right non-verbal cues into your behavior patterns.

Now, as all my NLP students know, as an NLP coach or counselor you don’t actually do anything — you simply listen, guide and help people uncover, create, develop and install the new thought patterns they need in order to overcome limitations and succeed. To do this effectively it’s necessary to be able to utilize highly advanced super-keen sensory awareness skills! … but where does one learn such things? — from studying nature of course! (after all, NLP is all based entirely on behavioral patterns that naturally occur in every human being … and, apparently, non-human beings as well …

… hmmmm … I think doggy seems to do a pretty good impression of me in a coaching session.

Sadly my friends … it is time once again for a Dan Rant — recently, a friend of mine brought to my attention an article published in a local newspaper a few days ago that simply left me shaking my head in disbelief …

The article (Eye movements mirror thought) was about how *Science* is suddenly discovered there is a connection between eye movements and thought patterns … and, in fact, you can use eye patterns to predict what people are thinking! Wow, eh? The fact that this has been a major component of NLP training since the 1970′s is only coincidental — and why is that? … because NLP hasn’t been *Scientifically* proven.

Yep, it’s true. NLP is still today considered nothing more than mumbo-jumbo-witch-doctory-new-age-wish-wash … a scam … a placebo, at best. The only reason is because the way NLP works is to utilize each individual’s personal way of thinking … and that means if I find a way that works to help one person the exact same steps may not work for anyone else! The most effective NLP techniques are constantly in flux based on immediate feedback received from the client — and that means it’s damn near impossible to create a universal set of steps that some scientist in a lab anywhere in the world can replicate! … but … medication can be replicated and proven to work in more than 50% of the cases and that’s good enough for psychologists and psychiatrists to get behind — because it can be *proven* using current scientific methods.

However, now we have these so-called *new* studies that have been discovering wonderous things about the way the human mind works … and lo-and-behold — ye old NLP flim-flam just happens to have been saying the same thing for decades … (*grumble, grumble, grumble!*) …

One of the most powerful components of NLP is it’s ability to influence and persuade others. This powerful skill is something that sets people trained in NLP out front of their competitors.

Since no person is an island by themselves, the fact is that you will require the assistance of others in order to achieve your goals in life. This makes the skills of persuasion very important because there will be situations where you will need to shift another person’s way of thinking in order to convince them to help you (do what you want).

If you’re looking to find the most advanced techniques for persuasion one of the best sources is books and webinars on the topic of sales and selling. The same tactics for better sales can be applied to persuading someone to do or agree to do what you want. In a couple days 3 authors trained in NLP will be putting out a special offer on their books that will include over a $1,000.00 worth of free books, videos, audio files and more, and theirwebsite SalesPersuasionMastery.com is a place to find some good information about persuasion:

• Free Webinar: How To Create A Sales Character Using Acting
• The Benefits of Adopting a Selling Persona
• How To Create Your Own Super Sales Character
• The Art of Building Desire by Asking Questions
• Showing Interest To Deepen rapport
• Improve Your Sales by 50% in 3 Days
• Sealing Commitment

Beyond these freebies their book are filled with even more powerful tools and techniques for building your skills of influence and persuasion. Plus, they will be offering a ton of special bonuses this coming Tuesday, March 30, 2010 — I’ll be posting a special link that morning where you will be able to get all the extras (over a $1,000.00 in free stuff) along with some of the most powerful books on the topic of persuasion that are available today.

The Second International NLP Research Conference has just put out a call for papers! I strongly recommend students of NLP check it out — the more research we continue to build in order to validate the claims of NLP and all our success, the more the scientific community will be unable to deny and discount our abilities.

For everyone who is interested, go to their website here:

http://www.nlpresearchconference.com/

It’s funny that I’ve recently begun re-reading the Tao of Pooh again. So many things we learn and commit to doing … well … it seems that we slowly begin to eventually stop doing them — until one day someone teaches us the old lesson again and we remember that we used to do it all the time … but then we stopped and can’t remember what happened that made us stop.

Almost seems funny when you think about it.

Taoism is about finding happiness in the moment, whatever may be happening (good or bad). That’s something that’s hard to do when filters of depression are shading everything you experience and your mind keeps focusing and dwelling on the crappy things in life.

However, in NLP we say there is no failure, only feedback. This too is sometimes hard to remember when you’re dealing with the crap poop life throws your way. I recently had a chance to sit and talk opening with my partner Jodie and she gave me a metaphor that really helped put things in perspective … and thinking about it has lead to a life lesson that I’m going to take from my recent war on depressing behaviors …

I used to have an NLP colleague who would always phrase everything as if the experience you were having had an intention — for example, if you’re having shoulder pain she’d ask what the pain was trying to tell you (or what your body was trying to teach you). Today I realized what the challenge is that I’m going to take away from the recent stumble my business has had –

Since I’m doing what I know I must in order to make my NLP business a success, the challenge if to maintain the systems, plans and procedures which I’ve established … I gotta keep doing them even through the tough times if I ever plan on making it to the big time.

Now, the only question which remains is …

Can I do it???

  yeah … Thanks … I know I can, too!

To All My Loved Ones,

It was really great to see a couple of you again. I know that when I was on leave from the front lines I wasn’t able to get in touch with everybody but please know that I wanted to — you are all in my heart, forever. Sarge says that if things stay quiet I’ll continue to get even more chances to come visit.

Lately the enemy has been putting less and less effort in fighting back, and when I utilize my NLP-Fu I can usually overpower them in one shot. Granted, this doesn’t mean that life is all better — I’m still back at work full-time does something other than my life’s passion (NLP), my business is still struggling (for the moment), the bank is still breathing down my neck, and I’m still behind on my rent (bless the kind people who have helped out on that one — YOU ROCK! — and I’ll be forever grateful) — but things have changed enough for me to see all those ‘negative’ things as just ‘temporary setbacks’ rather than signs of the impending death of all my life’s hopes and dreams. For the time, I remain in a constant state of numbness in order to stay in control of the rebellious habits that make up the faction of my mind commonly referred to by psychologists as ‘My Depression.’

In no time I expect my energy reserves will be up enough to get back to work on building my NLP career, catching up on paying some of the company’s debts with a second job and expanding my circle of business friends and relations… maybe soon I’ll be ready to even go out and see people again! Boo-ya!

Anyway, as it is, I probably won’t need to send any more letters from the front lines (at least for a while) because I’ll be able to stay in touch with everybody when I’m back home and being my true self (the happy, positive, patient, silly, can-do-anything Daniel that ya’all know and love). It’ll be good to get back to responding to emails, taking phone calls, get’n shit done, and making time to play with my son.

Oh crap! I gotta go everybody — Sarge just gave me a look to remind me I need to get some chow… one of the things all of us on the front lines of depression gotta do each and every day in order to stay in control of those unhealthy habits and negative filters is to eat and exercise — something a lot of the guys and gals out here forget to do — lucky for me that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and NLP gave me the ability to put a well trained Sargeant in charge of my unit, otherwise I’d never choose to do those kinds of things when I’m in the midst of battling anger and angst.

Coming home soon,
Daniel

P.S. Tell my little boy not to fear, he’ll see the real dad I can be again soon.

Okay…this was originally posted on Facebook by a wonderfully insightful NLPer, Anita, and I thought the information in it was so important I just have to share it with you…

Many times I hear people pronouncing”truths” about NLP (as if in a church), which obviously are based upon a non-understanding of what it is.

They say, “It doesn’t work.” At that point I look around and ask “Where?” “Where is this thing?”

They look upon me and say “What thing?” I say, “NLP. You said it doesn’t work. Where NLP? Can you make it?”

What specifically does not work or did not work for you?

They name techniques or a technique, name lists upon lists of techniques until my brain is fried.

I take a deep breath, look upon them and…..

I say. “So you say Phobia Cure did not work. How do you know he had one”? ” He told me”, they say.

And you believed him? Why? How did you make sure he really had one. If he didn’t you may have installed one, you know? if you did, you must NOW install a Phobia for a Phobia, which is easy. Just play a slightly different movie and add JAWS soundtract to it.

DONE.

What is he wanted to have one but didn’t get it YET. It is useful to have phobias of certain things.

For instance, Mother in Law phobia (that however can be cured with laxative tea at dinner when they visit SUDDENLY) and play the Jaws soundtract (gently) in the background.

Here is my response to them.

NLP techniques which are numerous, by themselves do not work. They are the tools we use within specific contexts. A tool, however great, is a usless tool unless applied for specific reasons in a specific context, with a specific, verifiable outcome to be achieved.

In order for these great tools to work, I tell them, they need to go back to the “drawing board” and be able to delineate the parameters of the context they are deling with. Make sure you are dealing with what you are told. If he says he a has a phobia, make darn sure it is and that he doesn’t want it.

Nine times out of ten, they have a different problem from the one they want you to believe they have.

Sometimes all they want is a “date”-with you..someone to spill their guts in front of, without any intention of having anything changed, expecting nurturing……… For this purpose, obviously, you will reach out for different tools ( I have a few for emergencies).

I think, by the way, these 8 year long weekly therapist visits are nothing else than contextualized dates. After that many years, people know each other better than spouses. Speaking of polygamy…….

They need to employ the observational skiils, listening skills and question- asking skills, to gather as much information as they can, in order to figure out the situation and how the context had been created.

When they are sure to be sure that surely they know what outcome they are wanting to get, the art begins.

Only then, are the tools useful to elicit the desired outcome (MAKE SURE, IT IS DESIRED, not just by you but by THEM).

In our view, training practitioners needs to be based on the principle of teaching a structure. Students must “organically be drawn to structure delineation. Once we know the structure of the client’s experience, we know how they consistently achieve a particular state, and what they want to change and why, our job is really easy. A structure of anything, including an emotional state ceases to be the the structure if the foundational elements are rearranged or removed.

In order to make a difference in someone’s life, we need to be able to reconstruct for ourselves the model of the world that client had been creating for themselves, understand the structure of it, design a new one that works, use the tools and then verify from our own and a client’s standpoint that this we wanted to achieve had been achieved WITHIN THE ECOLOGY OF THE CONTEXT.

Unfortunately there are many people out there who do not understand the elegance of these methods, and their power. They go into the world teaching others NLP and doing ineffective work with clients, leading to a misunderstanding of this incredible methodology and Richard Bandler’s original intent in Santa Cruz.

Its’ time for a CHANGE!

(The Original Facebook Note was written
by Anita Maria Koslowski)

So…if you’re ready for a change, and you want to learn the tools, techniques — along with the “elegance of these methods, and their power” — please check out the upcoming NLP Practitioner Certification Training Program being taught in Victoria, BC (starting in less than 4 weeks!)… you can find more information here: